Minnie’s Musings

For the fashion for kinky hair to go out of fashion. I am currently watching Nobody Wants This on Netflix as my antidote to insomnia. Kristen Thingumy has one of these kicking haircuts. At 4am it vexes me in a quite irrational way.

Do none of these women see that it makes them look like they went to bed with wet hair and/or took a pony tail out and didn’t apply a hairbrush?

Many moons ago there was a fashion for smoothing hair in the manner of folically challenged man. I went to the hairdresser prior to presenting at a PTA event and met the results of the youthful salon artiste with dumbstruck horror. She had blithely delivered the latest fashion without a thought to my high forehead and thin, prone to frizz hair. I don’t know who was more mortified. Her or me.

Anyway, for some reason I am coupling this foolish trend with the recent Vogue article which purportedly declares that having a boyfriend is embarrassing.

Now, it is extremely important that no women is defined by who she spends her time and possibly her bed with. It galls me no less than anyone else when a successful woman receives praise for achievement in the same sentence as a quick aside on who she is married to.

However, no one, categorically no one, should find being in any relationship of whatever sort embarrassing. That is ridiculous.

By jumping on this bandwagon and declaring the person who – with any luck – thinks about you and what makes you happy more than once a week, to be an embarrassment, is a nasty, hurtful message . Namely, I am ashamed that I have a ‘“boyfriend “ because I am independent, self assured modern woman, so could you please duck behind a bush when we are walking in the park, and see one of my independent, self assured friends .

Getting the nuance of this kind of debate is essential. “Embarrassing” and “embarrassment” are negatives. No one should be made to feel the first or suffer the latter, whatever their gender. It’s an easy adjustment.

Namely, I am happy to be on my own, doing what I want to do without having to check in with anyone else or credit him with holding down the fort while my career scales stratospheric heights (which you would likely be expected to do without credit the other around…).

And it is fine that when and if I meet someone who I want to argue over the dishwasher with, I will still be independent and self-assured and available for anyone who needs supporting while smashing the glass ceiling, this Tuesday week or next. You never know, you might even persuade him to hold the sledge hammer while you climb the ladder.

I slightly struggle with the empathy demonstrated by some men who express support for women and make the arguments to their fellow fellows. So long has this been my cause celebre that I still struggle to hear such protestations as genuine and heartfelt. However, I am turning over a new leaf this week and am going to give these young whippersnappers the benefit of the doubt. And stop laying private bets that they still take their washing home to mummy.

Must find that Vogue article and read it…